Opinion: Barbecues and XR protesters

I used to love a stroll around Hackney Downs. The fresh air, the greenery, the patches on the picnic tables where people have used disposable barbecues and it’s melted a perfect rectangle in the plastic, all of that would brighten my day.

This year has changed things though. It seems like every weekend has had a storm. The weather has been so intense it made a walk on the Downs feel like an extreme sport.

On the plus side the winds would have been too strong to light a barbecue so the plastic picnic tables were spared.

If the weather is going to keep getting worse we can expect to hear more from Extinction Rebellion. Recently they were up in Cambridge upsetting the university by digging up their lawns. It was nice to know they weren't messing up our public transport in London but if they dig up our grassy areas where am I going to have my disposable barbecue now?

If we want to have our leisure time indoors there was good news in the form of the plans for a £30million redevelopment of Lee Valley Ice Centre. It will be perfect for me for those six weeks of the year when Dancing On Ice is on TV and I become an expert on ice skating. It's months before the two weeks in the summer when I'm a tennis expert and the weekend in May when I know about voting patterns across Europe.

Some people think that £30 million is a lot of money. I am here to help. We can cut the cost of any redevelop plan by simply claiming that the owners are going to do something bad for the environment and Extinction Rebellion will turn up and dig up anything we need digging up.