Opinion: Overhaul the drinking rules

I spend a lot of time thinking about the things I miss from before the lockdown. Most of all I miss being able to visit my father. He’s in a care home and seeing all the news about the situation in the care sector terrifies me.

I also miss smaller things. I miss going to work, driving and showering on a regular basis. I also miss going to the pub.

Thankfully experts have been trying to devise a way that pubs could open while adhering to social distancing guidelines. The basic rule would be staying two metres away from everyone else in the pub. That’s tricky at the bar. Normally people crush together and desperately try to get served before their turn.

The post-Covid world might finally see an end to this terrible system. I say take the red rope from the VIP section (the Ps in those sections aren’t really that I) and use that to create a queuing system to the bar similar to what you’d find in a Post Office.

One of the rules the experts have suggested is to limit each drinker to three drinks. This is like the air quality. Somehow this hideous virus is forcing us to live a better way.

The reason for the three pint limit is to free up space for more drinkers once you have finished. I thought it was going to be to stop us getting drunk. That’s when you make your bad decisions to get closer to people that you normally wouldn’t want to go near. Alcohol changes who you fancy. It’s the same cognitive effect that makes you find sweaty kebabs attractive.

All of the rules will seem annoying at some point but I’d stick to all of them if I could get to visit my Dad again.