Land of Kings festival: Dalston’s Austerity Games sees events like Gym Nasties and Slipper Discus

A parody of the Olympics takes place this Friday when a fun ‘runner’ will set off through the streets holding a battery operated torch to mark the opening of the Austerity Games.

Part of the bank holiday weekend’s Land of Kings cultural festival, participants will be invited to take part in games like Gym Nasties, where you need to identify the sport played from a sweat band’s smell, Hate Lifting, involving picking up as many copies of the Daily Mail as you can in one hand, and the Slipper Discus, which involves throwing slippers.

Points will be marked on a score-card and those with more than five points will gain access to the “winner’s enclosure.”

The opening ceremony takes place on Friday May 4 at 7.45pm when the runner sets out headed towards the World War II Bunker in Ashwin Street, and ends at 12am on Saturday May 5.

On Saturday afternoon the Dalston Darlings Women’s Institute are embracing middle England, with a village fete complete with raffles, tea, cakes and Maypole dancing in the Dalston Eastern Curve Garden in Dalston Lane from 11am to 2.30pm.

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There are over 40 acts on offer in 15 venues over the course of the weekend, with events ranging from live bands, film screenings and a poetry slam.

For the full line up and to buy tickets see

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