Stockpiling leftover turkey for lockdowns to come

I have another apology to give. As we were heading towards the end of this difficult year I thought to myself, “At least things can’t get any worse.” Oops.

I honestly thought we were nearly home and dry. We have a handful of days left and a tight three-tier system in place to keep us healthy. I should have known better than to tempt fate in 2020. Sure enough, I was proved wrong. I promise I won’t do it again.

Christmas was all but cancelled because of the new strain of coronavirus. Our five days of Christmas have been cut to just one. 

It would have been easier if the government cancelled Christmas weeks ago. It still would have been a sad situation but we wouldn’t have ordered all the extra food. At least the leftover turkey will act as a stockpile for the inevitable January lockdown.

It’s the disappointment that hurts. I once heard a radio host doing a competition to win £1,000. That sounds great, doesn’t it? In the link between the songs the presenter said, “Up next we’re giving you the chance to win one million… I mean, one thousand pounds.”

All of a sudden winning a grand seems like small change. The promise of something better ruins what we actually get. The promise of a joyful and united Christmas makes living without one even harder.

My thoughts are with you as we get through Christmas and here’s to a better 2021. Surely it couldn’t be worse than this year. Oops! I’ve done it again.

• Steve Allen is a comedian, writer, broadcaster and Hackney resident.