It’s only a small one. But it is a car and it feels like drivers are hated. I say that because recently I parked the Steve-mobile on Downs Road. I wasn’t there long. At £11.40 for four hours I can’t park there often without my bank texting me.

I tried to drive to Amhurst Road but it had a new restriction. Someone had left two plant pots on the road. I muttered something about Charlie Dimmock but noticed there was a road sign on it. I didn’t mind, I simply headed up Benthal Road but that was closed off too. Maury Road was the same. By this time I’d performed so many three-point turns my delts were showing great definition. I went up Rendlesham Road to use Brooke Road to get onto Evering Road, but the phantom road gardener had left more obstacles there.

I am sorry I’m still driving. Most of all, I would like to apologise for the extra fuel I burned finding a way out.