View from a comedian: If your friends own a pub, how many households can visit?

Steve Allen wonders at the confusion of the Covid rules.

Steve Allen wonders at the confusion of the Covid rules.

A survey has found that only half of us understand the new lockdown rules.

Maybe it’s because the rules are messy. It was easy when the rules were simple. We were told to stay at home, so as long as you could remember where you lived you had it covered.

Now we find ourselves in a situation where it’s hard to make sense of it all. You can meet your friends indoors as long as there are only two households meeting. You could meet up with several households if you did it in a pub, which is indoors. If your friends own a pub, how many households could visit?

If one of your friends has recently came back from a part of Spain with a lower infection rate than the UK, they’re less likely to have coronavirus than your other friends but they can’t go anywhere as they’re under quarantine for two weeks.

You can go to a beauty salon but you can’t have anything done to your face. I thought the face was where most of us wanted to look beautiful. We could see a lot of “body for Baywatch, face for Crimewatch” situations. That’s OK because most of us have no idea if we can go down the pub or not, so no-one is going to see what you look like.

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In England we’re still meant to stay two metres apart if you’re not in a face covering.

In Scotland the two metres rules has been eased to one metre. So if you’re stood by the border you have to be two metres away from your Scottish friend who only has to be a metre away from you.

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All we want is clear advice from the government. I’d drink to that. But I am not sure where.

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