Album review: Kylie Christmas

Pop icon takes on the Christmas songbook but fails to make it her own, says Stephen Moore.

The princess of pop is at her best belting out strident, accessible disco. Her last record was pretty uninspiring stuff that left most of us reaching for 2001’s Fever to remind ourselves what she can do with the right team.

So has she seized the Christmas crown in the name of the disco dancefloor here? Spinning Around (The Christmas Tree)? Can’t Get Santa Out Of My Head?

Not so much. There are a couple of pumping numbers (cynically stuffed on the deluxe edition) including her duet with sister Dannii, 100 Degrees - a summery, ‘70s symphonic-disco victory which is hands-down the best tune here.

But time will tell whether Kylie’s co-written White December, a chugger of carefully calibrated blandness, glides into the pantheon of Chrimbo classics. Another cynical newbie, the bouncy Christmas Isn’t Christmas ‘Til You Get Here, has all the verve and vigour of a poppadom.

Despite calling in festive favours from Iggy Pop (her star-crossed lover in The Waitresses’ Christmas Wrapping) and James Corden (who puts in a nuanced turn in Yazoo’s Only You), and being outshone by a reanimated Ol’ Blue Eyes (Santa Claus Is Coming To Town), the rest of the collection is full of frustratingly faithful, vanilla retreads of the classics.

Let It Snow and Santa Baby are cookie-cutter covers and Everyday’s Like Christmas aims for fantastic, sky-bound electro but falls rather flaccid.

Kylie could have swapped Santa’s tired baubles for a spanking disco ball but the bulk of Christmas just adds to the bulging sack of forgettable festive frippery.

Rating: 2/5